Dating as a bald guy can be quite a scary place, especially if you’ve just started losing your hair and your self-esteem is low, or you’re newly single. Either way, some men would rather hide away than throw themselves back into the dating scene.
My advice is simple – get out and do it, there are plenty of women and men that like bald, shaven or buzz cut styles, just because you’re going bald doesn’t mean to say you have to stop dating, you just need to make sure that when you do go for a date, you’re at your best.
#1 – Plan ahead
My first tip, and probably one of the most important, is to make sure you plan ahead when going on your first date.
Take care when deciding on your location, if you’re planning to eat then make sure you find out what your date doesn’t like – you don’t want to end up at a steak house if they’re a vegetarian.
If they are not a big drinker then make sure you don’t arrange to meet in the local pub – put some thought into where you should meet. Remember, you’re trying to make a good impression, so take some time to think about the best place your date would like to go, it will certainly help things run more smoothly.
Once you think you have the perfect place, make sure you ‘scope the location’ so that you know a little more than just turning up out of the blue on the date.
If you have time, and this might sound a little OTT, try to visit the place beforehand, have a look around, make sure it is suitable and it meets your expectations.
I understand we can’t always do that, so use the Internet to do your research instead, check the menu, style, transport links, ease of access, parking and so on – the more you know the easier things are for you and it will help the nerves.
Read the reviews – check it’s not going to be full of raving kids or football fans (unless that’s going to work for your date), so make sure you check out what other people have said about the venue, the food reviews, atmosphere, staff etc…
#2 – Make sure you agree on a meeting place and stick to it
So you might be meeting at a location before you go to your chosen venue, this might be outside a train/tube/subway station, a bar or coffee house – big tip, make sure you don’t change the location at last minute, this can unnerve both your date and yourself.
There is nothing worse than having everything planned only to suddenly change things around – you should have done your research beforehand, that way you’ll have a plan to stick to.
Trust me, your date will be just as nervous as you will be, so make sure you stick to what you’ve agreed.
Maybe start at a bar or coffee house first to break the ice, sometimes this works better than just meeting directly at the venue, it’s a way to break the ice, keep things more relaxed and informal, it can really help you get to know the person a little before you sit down to your meal etc…
Once you have agreed on a location with your date make sure you have your phone with you and it’s on, this is just in case your date is delayed or has complications – at least they will be able to text or call you to let you know they’re delayed. Sometimes things happen, traffic, unexpected delays or they just needed one more outfit change! It may not be the case you’re being stood up, they might just be bad at time keeping, so make sure your date knows how to contact you.
#3 – Groom Up
This is an important one Gents, you want to make a good impression don’t you? Take some pride in your appearance and make sure that you have groomed yourself properly. There are plenty of grooming tips on TBG, so please have a look these before you head out of the door.
Whatever you do don’t go over the top with your grooming, take it easy and don’t try anything new.
If this is the first date, then more than likely you’ve either known each other and met a few times around work, your home area or you’ve been using dating sites or social media to talk to your date.
If this is the case then they will be expecting you to look like your pictures or how you did when they last saw you – if you suddenly decide to dye your thinning hair or turn up wearing a wig then things could turn out badly for you…
Make sure you’re true to yourself and don’t try and hide the way you look.
If you’ve been sensible then the person coming to meet you knows what you look like and that’s a fundamental reason why they agreed to the date. If, however, you’ve been hiding your head with a hat or using photo’s of, ‘when you had hair’ then I’d say you’re setting yourself up for a fall and possible humiliation – just don’t do it.
Choose the right wardrobe for your date. There’s lots of great fashion ideas and inspiration for bald gents what to wear so I won’t go into too much detail here.
All I would say is make sure you dress appropriately for the location.
If you’re going to a nice restaurant then pick an outfit to match. If, however, you’re going to the pictures, a local bar or coffee house then I would suggest a more casual and cool look.
Think about your style and what you feel comfortable in, this doesn’t mean turning up in jogging bottoms and a T-Shirt – it means, make sure you pick an outfit you know makes you feel good, something someone has complimented you on before or you’ve bought especially for the date – this way, it will help your confidence high and make you much more relaxed.
#4 – Be early, don’t have your date standing around
If you plan to meet at a certain time/location then make sure you get there early.
If, however, you’re picking your date up then ignore this, you don’t want to wait outside their house like some kind of stalker.
It’s important to understand what we mean by ‘early’, we’re talking 5-10 minutes, not hours. If you turn up too early, you’ll probably end up making yourself too nervous, or worse still, you’ll get caught by the elements and ruin the way you look – just plan to be there slightly earlier than the time agreed to make sure you can be there to greet them.
If you are meeting at a location then make sure you meet them outside, don’t have your date searching around for you when they arrive. Greeting them outside can make them feel more comfortable and I personally think it’s the more Gentlemanly thing to do.
On that note, make sure you act like a Gentleman at all times, if it’s raining have an umbrella waiting, if the taxi pulls up outside make sure you open the door and offer a hand to help them out.
Make sure you hold the door open to the entrance of the venue, don’t just walk off and walk ahead – just a little chivalry can go a long way with the ladies.
When you do finally get inside then make sure you don’t forget this, compliment your date, the way they look, the outfit, hair style, smell etc… don’t go over the top though otherwise, you’ll sound creepy – just a little compliment can really work.
#5 – Know where you’re sitting
If possible, visit the location where you might be eating (if it’s a restaurant), try to make sure you have a really good table, one in a location that offers you both chance to relax and not be sat either by the toilets or just as people walk in, you want a location that offers the best for both, ease of access and atmosphere.
One little tip for you bald gents like me, try not to sit directly under a spotlight. My wife laughs at me as I still do this now, it’s not that I have an issue with my bald head it’s more I don’t want to dazzle people with the light bouncing off it – sounds silly I know, but little things like this matter.
You don’t want to look like you’re being interrogated and if you’re feeling a little self-conscious about your hair/head then the last thing you want is a spotlight pointing right at the cause of your concern!
When you do finally sit down, make sure you offer to get your date’s seat if the waiter doesn’t.
Some might say this is old fashioned but I think not, no matter your age, your social background or upbringing, simple little things like this cost nothing and can leave a lasting impression.
#6 – Don’t rush, take your time when ordering
Talk first, don’t just sit down and start thinking about what you’re going to eat, try to get a conversation going that’s not just about what you want to eat – ask your date about their journey here, talk about the venue etc.
Be prepared and make sure you ask your date if they’d like a drink so you can order when the waiter comes over, it’s also a good way to find out what they like so that you can remember that for the next time 😉
If you have done your research on the menu you could offer suggestions if you want to sound knowledgeable, ‘I have heard the steak is supposed to be amazing, it’s from New Zealand’ etc… again, don’t go over the top and read the whole menu or regurgitate some cookbook you once read, just be yourself and offer some advice if your date needs it.
Don’t rush either, if you know what you want then don’t just fold your menu up, sit back and fold your arms – make sure you don’t rush, almost wait for your date to decide before you do.
When you do come to order make sure you let your date go first – it’s the Gentlemanly thing to do, don’t rush in and be like, “I’ll have the soup, followed by the lamb and then I’ll have the cheese and biscuits”, not cool.
#7 – Calm the nerves and keep your cool
Try and keep your cool throughout the date, if you are feeling self-conscious about the way you look, your hair then don’t do things to bring attention to the fact.
Don’t be messing with your hair, don’t be rushing off the toilet every 5 mins to check your bald patch isn’t showing, relax my friend, your date is there because they chose to be.
Try to be confident and don’t start fidgeting around or breaking eye contact with your date because you think someone might be looking at you, they are not.
The more relaxed and in control you can be the more attractive you’ll appear to your date – they are probably feeling pretty nervous as it is.
If you’re a guy that has a good sense of humour then this is the time to use it, a joke or two can relax things, just make sure it’s not at your expense or even worse, that of your dates!
Show your personality but just be careful to not let the nerves kick in and you say something you shouldn’t.
#8 – Listen – don’t talk over your date
This is something quite a lot of people forget to do, listen.
Ask questions and wait for answers and listen to what your date has to say.
You’ll come across well if you can listen, it also helps if you meet again, you’ll be able to bring up things you’ve learnt from your first date, therefore, showing you were interested in what they had to say.
Listening can also be a great way to find out more about the person you invited on this date, what do they like to do, what ambitions, hopes, dreams and desires do they have – all of this is fantastic knowledge for you to use later, whether that be booking your next date or planning an adventure – listening is something we all forget to do.
#9 – Eat like a Gent, not a Caveman, and don’t get drunk
So the food arrives and you’re starving – don’t jump on your food like a hungry lion on a buffalo, take your time, chew!
By this point in the date, you should have some things to talk about, try to keep the conversation going rather than seeing if you can break the record for the fastest person to eat a rack of ribs.
Food should be enjoyed and there’s nothing better than good food, good conversation and good wine, just make sure you find a balance between all three.
If you are drinking alcohol then make sure you don’t get drunk, if your date is also drinking then just be certain you’re not racing them, remember, this is the first date and you don’t want them carrying you to the taxi at the end of the night.
Nerves can sometimes get the better of you, I understand this as I too like a drink or three, but when dating, it’s not attractive to be the one getting plastered while your date watches you turn from the perfect Gent into lad on holiday!
Try to intermix water into the alcohol drinking, it can be a great way to stop you reaching for the wine glass.
#10 – At the end of the date
So you’ve come to the end of the date, either it’s gone really well, time has passed without you knowing or you just can’t wait to get out of there, either way, when you do get the bill make sure you offer to pay, if your date wants to pay to make sure you insist without sounding patronising.
If things have gone well, say something like, ‘OK, you can get it next time then’, (with a smile) if things didn’t go that well then still offer to pay, it’s the correct thing to do. One other point – always leave a tip, always.
If you leave together then make sure you are the Gentleman till the end – offer to help your date with their coat or jacket, make sure you hold open the door when leaving the venue.
Don’t leave your date no matter the outcome, make sure you see them to their transport home, usually if you’ve been out to eat it can be late.
No matter what the outcome is, you don’t leave a lady walking alone at night – if it’s a guy it’s a little different but still make sure that person has a safe way home.
If things have gone well, then it could come to that awkward moment of how to say goodbye, do you go in for a kiss, a handshake, a hug?
This is something you will need to gauge for yourself, something you should have picked up from that person throughout the date, did they come across as a, touchy touchy person, or quite reserved, either way, you need to be careful how you say your goodbye.
If, however, your date makes that decision for you then it might be something you don’t have to worry about – let’s hope it’s the outcome you were looking for.
Dating is not always easy, whether you have a full head of hair or you’re going through hair loss.
There are millions of articles to read, videos to watch and even dating courses you can go on, all of which offer different kinds of advice, do’s and don’ts and the best ways to… etc.
I have written this article to offer some tips and advice to those guys out there that are struggling with either dating again after a breakup, or those guys worried that dating is not going to happen because they’re losing or have lost their hair.
Not one date is the same as the last, there is no exact science to dating or attracting a partner, it comes down to you, how you act, how you conduct yourself and the impression you make.
Confidence is key and so is being able to listen, don’t underestimate the power of conversation and getting to know more about someone, you might find out some surprising things you never knew nor expected.
Just take your time, keep your cool, have pride in your appearance and above all, act like a Gentleman, you never know how things might conclude.